I was sitting on the tour bus with my older brother, Brian.  I was on tour for a year with him and his bandmates, Nick, Howie, AJ, and our cousin, Kevin.  AJ and Howie treated me like a little sister.  Nick and I fight all the time.  Kevin and Brian asked us to cut it out but we keep fighting.  I got down off of Brian’s bunk and went back to the entertainment room and saw Nick and Brian playing the Nintendo.  Kevin, Howie, and AJ were sitting at the table, playing a card game. 

       “Hey,” I said.

       “Hey cuz, sit down,” Kevin said.  I sat beside him.

       “What game are you playing?” I asked.

       “Blackjack,” Kevin said.

       “Cool,” I said.  I heard Nick snicker. 

       “Nick, cut it out,” Brian said. 

       “Kev, what is that loser in the band?” I asked.

       “Hey!” Nick said. 

       “Bri, be good,” Kevin said. 

       “I’m not a loser, you are!” Nick yelled standing up. 

       “You are a jerk!” I yelled standing up.

       “That’s it, I’ve had it!” Brian yelled.

       “So have we,” Kevin, Howie, and AJ said.

       “If you two can’t get along, then Bri, you can go back to Orlando,” Brian said.

       “But Brian….,” I started to say.

       “Bri, don’t start, okay, I am sick and tired of hearing you two fight, if you can’t get along, then you can’t be on the tour anymore,” Brian said.

       “I can’t believe this, you begged me to come on this tour so that we could spend the whole year together, and now you want me off, your wish is granted!” I said walking into the bunk area.  I got my stuff together. Brian came in.

       “Bri, you don’t have to, just stop fighting with Nick, okay,” Brian said.

       “Brian, I’ve been trying to get along with him but he doesn’t want to get along with me,” I said. 

       “I’ll try to, Bri,” Nick said.

       “You will?” I asked.

       “Yeah, for Brian’s sake, let’s try to get along,” Nick said.

       “Okay,” I said.  We shook hands.  We went back to the entertainment area.  Nick and I sat down and played Nintendo.  Brian sat down with Kevin, Howie, and AJ. 

That night, we were at the hotel.  Brian, Howie, AJ, and Kevin went out to a club.  I was lying on the bed in Nick’s room.  He came in with some popcorn and cokes. 

       “Thanks for hanging with me, I don’t like clubs,” Nick said.  I smiled.

       “I didn’t feel like going anywhere anyways,” I said.  He handed me a coke and got on the bed beside me.  He put the popcorn between us.  

       “So which movie, She’s All That or Varsity Blues,” Nick said.  I looked at him.

       “She’s All That, I want to watch Freddie Prinze Jr., he’s a hottie,” I said.

       “Are you sure you don’t want to watch James Van Der Beek?” Nick asked.

       “I want to see Paul Walker, he’s a hottie, too, and he shows his body,” I said smiling.  He turned the movie on and we watched it.  I smiled when the locker scene came on.  Nick started to gag.

       “What, I saw your face during the beach scene when Rachael Leigh Cook took off her overalls and you saw her swimsuit,” I said.  He blushed.  I giggled.  He looked at me.

       “Are you laughing at me?” Nick asked.

       “No,” I said giggling.  He grinned evilly and started tickling me.  I burst out laughing.

       “Stop!” I said laughing.  He kept tickling me.  I kept laughing. 

       “Nick, stop, I can’t breathe,” I said.  He stopped.  I took a deep breath and then I started tickling him.  He started laughing. 

       “Stop!” Nick said laughing. He started tickling me again. 

       “Okay, kids, enough,” Brian said at the doorway.  We stopped and sat up.

       “Hey Frick, you guys back already?” Nick asked.

       “I got a call from Mom, Bri,” Brian said. 

       “What is it?” I asked.

       “It’s Dad, Bri, he was in a car accident, they don’t know if he’s going to make it,” Brian said.

       “Oh my god,” I said as tears came to my eyes.  Nick wrapped an arm around me. I rested my head on his shoulder. 

       “Kevin is talking to management, we’re all going back,” Brian said. Kevin, Howie, and AJ came in.

       “Everyone get their bags pack, we’re all going to Kentucky,” Kevin said.  Everyone went to their rooms to get packed.  Nick cleaned up everything in his room and packed everything and was out the door.  He saw Bri come out of her and Brian’s room. She saw him and waited.  He stood beside her. Brian came out.  Kevin, Howie, and AJ came out of their rooms and they all went to the bus and headed for the airport.  They flew to Kentucky.  Bri was sitting with Nick on the plane.  He held her hand for support. 

       “Why is this happening,” I said crying. 

       “I don’t have an answer for that, but I’m here for you guys if you need me,” Nick said.  I smiled a little at him before looking out the window.  The plane landed and we went to the hospital. Brian and I ran in and saw Mom and Harold JR in the waiting room.  Ann was there as well. 

       “Mom!” Brian and I said. We ran to her and we hugged.

       “Oh my baby,” Mom said hugging me.

       “How is he?” I asked.

       “They just put him on life support, he wasn’t breathing on his own,” Mom said with tears in her eyes.  Kevin hugged his mother and they sat down. Brian and I held each other and sat down.  Mom and Harold JR sat down.  Nick sat down next to me. He held my hand.  We all prayed for Dad. 

Three days later, his condition didn’t improve.  I was sitting by his bedside.

       “Daddy, it’s me, Bri, you can’t leave us, please stay with us, we all need you, Brian needs you, Harold needs you, Mom needs you, I need you the most, please don’t leave me, Daddy, please, I can’t bear it, please stay with us,” I said crying.  I felt a hand on my shoulder.  I looked up and saw Nick.  I put my hand over his and squeezed it.

       “I can’t lose my father, Nick, I can’t,” I said crying. 

       “You just got to keep praying, he has to listen, just pray until you can’t pray anymore,” Nick said.  I heard the machines beeping.  I looked and saw a flatline. Doctors and nurses came running in.  Nick pulled me back.  I watched as they tried to bring him back.  Nick held me as I cried softly. They kept trying.  Mom, Brian, and Harold JR came in and saw what was going on.  Brian and Harold JR held onto Mom.  Nick held me close. They worked on him.  They stopped and looked at the monitors.  Dr. Jackson shook his head. 

       “Call it,” Dr. Jackson said.  He came over to us. 

       “I’m sorry, Mrs. Littrell, we tried, but he’s gone,” Dr. Jackson said. 

       “NO!” Mom cried.  Brian and Harold JR hugged her.  I turned in Nick’s arms and buried my face in his chest and cried. He stroked my head.  Harold JR walked out to tell Ann, Kevin, Howie, and AJ.  Nick held me close.  We all walked out.  Mom and Ann hugged.  Kevin hugged Brian. 

       “Nick, take Bri to the house, okay, we’ll be there shortly, AJ, Howie, help him,” Mom said.  They nodded.  Nick helped me out the one of the rental cars.  AJ and Howie got in.  Howie drove us out to the house.  Nick helped me in and up to my room.  I laid down and cried.  Nick sat down.  He laid down.  I rolled over and rested my head on his chest.  He wrapped his arms around me.  I fell asleep.  He fell asleep.

Three weeks later, we all were back on the road.  I refused to talk to anyone but Nick and Brian.  AJ, Howie, and Kevin tried to talk to me but I stayed quiet. I was lying in Brian’s bunk, thinking about everything.  Brian came in.

       “Hey sis, we’ll be okay,” Brian said.

       “I still can’t believe he’s gone,” I said.

       “Bri, he’s watching over us, and he’s in our hearts, I still feel pain, too, you aren’t the only one, okay, you can talk to all of us, Kevin’s worried about you, because you won’t talk to him, he lost someone, too, you know,” Brian said.

       “I know, could you ask him to come here?” I asked.

       “Sure,” Brian said.  He went up front.  Kevin came back.

       “Hey Kev, I’m sorry for not speaking to you, I didn’t mean to be like that,” I said.

       “It’s okay, I know what you are going through,” Kevin said stroking my forehead.

       “You were always my favorite cousin, you still are,” I said.  He smiled.

       “And you are my favorite cousin, just don’t tell Brian or Harold JR, okay,” Kevin said.

       “My lips are sealed,” I said.  He smiled and kissed my forehead. 

       “Now, you have been getting close to Nick,” Kevin said.

       “I know, he’s a great guy to hang with, he’s become my best friend,” I said.  Kevin smiled.

       “That’s good, no more fighting,” Kevin said.

       “That’s for sure,” I said.  Nick came into the bunk area.

       “Hey girl, up for a little Nintendo?” Nick asked.

       “Sure,” I said getting down off the bunk.  Nick and I went back and played Nintendo. 

Two hours later, we were at the next city.  We arrived at the hotel.  I walked up front of the bus and saw AJ and Howie.

       “Bone, D, I’m sorry for not talking to you two,” I said.

       “We understand,” AJ said hugging me. Howie hugged me.  We all got our stuff and went into the hotel.  I walked in with Nick.  He stopped in his tracks.  The bellhop took our bags and put them on a cart.  I looked at where Nick was looking and saw a girl standing there looking at him.  Brian came up beside me.

       “Oh damn, it’s Mandy, she’s a bitch,” Brian said.

       “I know, I’ve heard about her, she was always rude to fans, and she was obsessive of Nick,” I said. 

       “That’s right,” Brian said.

       “Bri, can I talk to you?” Nick asked.  He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the side.

       “What is it?” I asked.

       “Can you pretend to be my girlfriend, just until Mandy goes away, she’ll want me back and she doesn’t usually take no for an answer,” Nick said.

       “Yeah, I’ll play along, Nick, I’ve heard about her and I think she’s a bitch, Brian thinks that, too,” I said.

       “She is one, come on,” Nick said.  We told Brian, Howie, AJ, and Kevin.  They nodded.  Nick put his arm around my waist and held me close to him.  My heart started to flutter as my body pressed against his.  He planted a kiss on my cheek and my neck. I pretended to enjoy it.  Mandy came over.

       “Get your hands off of my man, girl,” Mandy said. 

       “Excuse me, but he’s mine now,” I said. 

       “And just who do you think you are!” Mandy said.

       “I’m Britney Littrell, Brian’s sister, Kevin’s cousin, get the picture, or do I have to draw it for you,” I said.  The guys stiffed their giggles. 

       “I may be blonde but I’m not stupid,” Mandy said.

       “Takes one to know one, you are so dense, Nick doesn’t want you back, so don’t even try it, he’s with me now and I know and the guys know that I will treat him a whole lot better than you ever did,” I said.

       “I treated him well,” Mandy said.

       “Does being obsessive and rude to his fans ring a bell, I’ve heard about you, and it’s the truth, isn’t it, you were obsessive and rude,” I said.

       “They were rude to me and I wasn’t obsessive!” Mandy said.  Brian came forward.

       “Oh yes, you were, Mandy, I’ve been watching you the whole time, you were always obsessing over Nick, you always wanted to be with him every second, you couldn’t let him have fun, you practically ordered him around, Nick needs his own life, not one time did you let him, I know my sister will treat him better than you ever did, so get lost!” Brian said.  Mandy had a scared look on her face.  She ran out crying.  Nick smiled.  I smiled.  Nick hugged me.

       “Thank you!” Nick said.

       “No problem,” I said. 

       “Thanks Frick,” Nick said.

       “No problem, Frack,” Brian said.  We all went to our rooms.  Brian and I walked into ours.

       “Thanks for helping Nick out, Bri, Mandy doesn’t deserve him,” Brian said.

       “I was glad to help, she was a bitch,” I said.

The next day, we were checking out and going to the tour bus when the front desk clerk came up to me.

       “Ms. Littrell, this was just delivered here for you,” he said handing me an envelope.

       “Thanks,” I said.  I opened the envelope and saw a note. 

Britney, stay away from Nick if you know what’s good for you, I will make you pay for it! I mean it! Don’t say anything about this note or I will kill you!  Mandy.  I stood there shaking. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I jumped.

       “Hey, you okay?” Nick asked. 

       “I’m fine,” I said.  He grabbed the note.

       “What this, that bitch!” Nick said after he read it.  We got on the bus.  Nick showed the note to the guys.  

       “We aren’t leaving you alone, Bri, not ever, you will have one of the bodyguards with you, just for safety,” Brian said.

Three weeks later, I was still receiving threats from Mandy. It was like she was following us. 

       “Why won’t she just stop!” I said frustrated with everything. 

       “She’s obsessive!” Nick said as we sat in his hotel room. 

       “More than that, she’s dangerous!” I said. 

       “Brian called the police, they’re looking for her, and we all are going to do everything we can to protect you,” Nick said.    He held me close. 

       “I just want this over with, she’s getting more dangerous in every threat,” I said.

       “You’ll be okay, I won’t let her hurt you,” Nick said.  I looked up at him.  He looked down at me.  He leaned down and I felt his lips on mine.  We kissed softly.  Then more deeply and passionately.  We laid down on the couch and kissed. He pulled back and we looked into each other’s eyes.

       “I have fallen in love with you, Bri, I have been in love with you from the first moment I saw you,” Nick said.

       “I have been in love with you from the first moment I saw you, too,” I said.  He kissed my lips softly.

       “Will you be my girlfriend?” Nick asked.

       “Yes,” I said. He kissed me again. 

       “Bri, I want you,” Nick said.  He got up. I got up and I pulled him into the bedroom and closed the door and locked it and I pushed him onto the bed and got on top of him and kissed him hard.  His hands ran down my back and he grabbed my butt and pushed me closer as his tongue entered my mouth.  Our tongues met in a passionate duel.  He rolled us over so he was on top and kissed me deeply.  He pulled off my shirt and pushed my shorts off.  I pulled his shirt off and pushed his jeans off. His hands went around and unclipped my bra as he kissed my neck. His lips moved to my breasts and he started sucking on my nipples. I arched my back and he took more into his mouth.  He kissed my stomach and he french kissed my bellybutton.  He ripped off my panties.  He slipped two fingers inside me.  I moaned in pleasure.  I reached up and turned his stereo on. 

       “Nick, I want you, inside me, now,” I said.  But he wanted to do something else.  He licked my hidden folds. I moaned.  He thrusted his tongue inside me.  He licked and sucked up my juices.  He continued making love to me with his tongue.  He felt me coming and I came into his mouth, licking my juices up, not leaving a single drop. He crawled back up to me and kissed me deeply, letting me taste myself.  I rolled us over and kissed him deeply. I kissed down his chest and ripped his boxers off and took his length into my mouth.  He moaned in pleasure.  I sucked, caressed, and bit his length.  He shot his hot load into my mouth.  I swallowed every drop.  I let go of him and we kissed.  He rolled us over and kissed me deeply.  I wrapped my legs around his waist.

       “Nick, I need you inside me now,” I said.  But he continued kissing me.  I groaned and rolled us over and got up on my knees and kissed him deeply and passionately.  I sank down on his length.  Nick moaned.  I whimpered as it filled me. I rode him hard and fast.  His hands went to my hips, guiding me.  He flipped us over and pulled my legs over his shoulders and slammed himself into me, fast and hard.  He went fast and hard. 

        “Come on, Nick, fuck me, hard,” I said.  He went faster and harder. He fucked me hard.  He went faster and harder.  I screamed his name as he plunged into me.  He felt me coming. He came and spilled his seed deep inside me.  He let my legs slip off his shoulders.  He laid on top of me and we kissed.  He rolled off of me and laid beside me and pulled me close.  I rested my head on his chest. 

       “Oh my god, Bri,” Nick sighed. 

       “I know,” I said.  He kissed my forehead. 

       “Should we tell Brian that we are together now?” Nick asked.

       “Well, we could, just not what just happened, though,” I said looking up at him.

       “I think I know why, he told me about when he found out about your first time, he only told me, he didn’t tell the others, just me, and I didn’t tell anyone else,” Nick said.

       “It was a big mistake, the guy didn’t love me, he was using me to get his old girlfriend back, and it worked, last time I heard, they were engaged, they’re probably married now,” I said.

       “Let’s put that in the past and focus on the future,” Nick said.  I smiled. 

That night, I went back to Brian’s room.  Brian was watching TV. He looked up.

       “Hey,” Brian said.

       “Brian, Nick and I are a couple now, he told me that he’s been in love with me since he first saw me,” I said.

       “And do you feel the same way about him?” Brian asked.

       “Yeah, I’ve been in love with him since I first saw him, I guess the reason we were fighting was because we liked each other and wanted attention,” I said.

       “I guess so, did you sleep with him?” Brian asked.

       “Brian!” I said. 

       “I was just asking,” Brian said.

       “Brian, Nick and I just got together, we haven’t slept together yet!” I said.  I went to my room.  I closed the door and took off my shoes.  I was grabbed from behind.

       “Brian!” I yelled. 

       “I told you I would come after you if you didn’t stay away from Nick,” Mandy said.  Brian came running in and saw Mandy holding me.

       “Let her go!” Brian shouted.

       “I don’t think so!” Mandy said holding a knife to my neck.  I looked at Brian. 

       “Please let her go,” Brian said.

       “Mandy, let me go, I’ll stay away from Nick, I promise, I don’t want to die, I’ll stay away from Nick,” I said crying.

       “I don’t think you can stay away from him, you just slept with him, I was watching from the closet, you and Nick made love, now you have to pay,” Mandy said.  Nick came running in with Lonnie and Steve. 

       “Let her go, Mandy!” Nick said. 

       “I don’t think so, she’s going to pay, with her life!” Mandy said angrily.

       “Stop, don’t, please, Mandy, if you ever care about me, you would let her go,” Nick said.

       “I stopped caring when you two got together, this knife is going straight through her heart!” Mandy said getting ready.

       “Don’t, please,” I said crying.  I was plotting my attack. 

       “Get ready to die!” Mandy said.  I looked at Brian. He nodded, knowing what I was going to do.  I grabbed Mandy’s arms and flipped her over me and she landed on the ground hard.  Lonnie and Steve grabbed her and took her away.  Brian hugged me. 

       “Great move, sis,” Brian said.

       “No problem, glad I went with Mom to take those self defense classes,” I said. 

       “You did good, sis,” Brian said.

       “Brian, I’m sorry, I lied to you,” I said.

       “It’s okay, sis, I trust you and Nick, if you get pregnant, I know Nick won’t leave you alone,” Brian said.  I looked at Nick.  He hugged me.

       “I wouldn’t leave her for anything in the world,” Nick said hugging me tight. 

       “You better not, or I’ll hurt you,” Brian said.

Three years later, Nick and I were still going strong.  I was the Princess of Pop and opening for the guys.  I had hit songs and a lot of fans.  I just found out that I was going to be headlining my own tour.  I was packing. Nick came in. 

       “Hey baby, I’ll miss you,” Nick said.

       “I’ll miss you, too, sweetie,” I said kissing his cheek.  He pushed me down on the bed and caressed my body.

       “I want to make love to you before you go,” Nick said. 

       “Protection?” I asked.  He held it up.  He pulled off my shirt and pushed my shorts off.  I pulled his shirt off and pushed his jeans off. He slid the condom on and made love to me. Afterwards. he laid on top of me and we kissed.  He rolled off of me and laid beside me and pulled me close.  I rested my head on his chest. 

       “I’ll miss this so bad,” Nick said.

       “Me, too, I love you, Nick, more than anything,” I said.

We got up and got dressed.  I finished packing. 

Three months later, it was the middle of the tour.  I wasn’t feeling well.  Fatima came in with Karissa and Tania. She felt my forehead.

       “You aren’t buring up, but you do look pale,” Fatima said. I sat up.

       “What’s wrong with me, I can’t be sick, I’m on tour,” I said getting up.  I ran in and threw up.

       “Karissa, Tania, let’s take her to the doctor,” Fatima said.  They took me to the doctor’s office. Dr. Stevens examined me.  He left the room. An hour later, he came back into the room with a folder.

       “What’s wrong with me, Dr. Stevens,” I said.

       “You’re three months pregnant,” Dr. Stevens said.

       “There must be some mistake, I can’t be, my boyfriend and I did sleep together, I’m on birth control pills, we were both protected, how can I be pregnant!” I said.

He examined me again.  An hour later, he came back.

       “I’m sorry, the tests got mixed up, you just have the touch of the flu, I would recommend you rest for tonight, just rest, I know you have a concert tonight,” Dr. Stevens said. 

       “Yeah, and it’s sold out,” I said. 

       “I’m sorry, you will have to postpone the concert,” Dr. Stevens said.  I walked out.  I saw Fatima, Karissa, Tania, and Johnny in the waiting room.  They stood up.

       “Well,” Johnny said.

       “I have a touch of the flu, I have to rest tonight, Dr. Stevens said I will have to postpone tonight’s concert and rest,” I said.  Johnny got on the phone.  We all went back to the hotel.  I laid down on my bed and rested.  The phone rang.  I picked it up.

       “Hello,” I said.

       “Hey, baby, what’s wrong?” Nick asked.

       “I have a touch of the flu, I have to rest, I had to postpone the show tonight, I have to rest, doctor’s orders,” I said yawning.

       “Aww, baby, I wish I was there with you,” Nick said.

       “Me, too, I want to be in your arms right now,” I said. 

       “Maybe you can,” Nick said. 

       “What,” I said.   I looked at the door and saw Nick standing there with his cell phone.  He hung up.  I hung up the phone and he came over and laid down beside me and pulled me close.  I rested my head on his chest.

       “I missed you so much,” I said.

       “I missed you, too, I had to come see you,” Nick said. 

       “How long are you staying?” I asked.

       “Until you tell me to, we are done recording and we’re on a vacation, I chose to come be with you,” Nick said.

       “Don’t leave me,” I said. 

       “I won’t, baby,” Nick said.  He held me all through the night.  I fell asleep in his arms.  He went to sleep.